Eyes that feel like home
by shambolic1991
Summary: AU: Sam is almost 18 years old when he comes to know of the existence of his step-brother Dean. He feels like is the moment to meet him and make up for lost time. But, apparently, nothing is simple as it may seem. (Please forgive me if the story has some mistakes! English is not my first language, and this is like my 3rd attempt at writing a fic! Hope someone can enjoy it :])
1. Chapter 1

Sam was gazing out of the bus window. House after house, Holton was getting behind him.  
Outside you could see the sun setting on the horizon just beyond the green countryside.  
He sighed and adjusted himself on the seat. The bus was empty except from him and a couple of old women with a child. He was sure about his choice but his breath was still short and his palms couldn't stop sweating. He had wanted to meet his brother since the first moment he discovered his existence, a couple of months before. His mother Mary and his father, made him sit on the couch in the living room.  
No one has ever had trifling news while sitting on that couch.

She told him that she was married to another man long ago, with some John Winchester, and that they had a baby. They divorced when said baby was 4, and Mary was already expecting him. The cause of the break up was clear enough but Sam had some questions. Like, did his mom never saw his child again? Where did they live? And most important of all, why was he said such thing just now? Lots of families were in the same situation, it was nothing big.  
She told him that they lived in Lawrence at the time, which was just an hour away from Holton.  
And that she have always seen Dean, his stepbrother, once a month.  
She would have had some sort of excuse if Sam had asked her.  
But she never answered the last question.

Two months after, on his 18th birthday, he expressed the will to meet his brother.  
And here he was. The breaks of the bus made a shrill sound, bringing him back to reality.  
He looked out of the window and it was way darker.  
-Excuse me sir, how long before we hit Lawrence's stop?- he asked to the bus driver, leaning towards him.  
-Just a couple of minutes boy- the old man said in a rattle.  
Sam stood up and put his back pack on his right shoulder. Just a couple of minutes after the bus stopped and he got off in the cold evening breeze. The tire screeched again and he was alone in front of Lawrence's city hall. Her mother called John, to let him know of Sam intentions. He said he could come visit on Friday and have dinner with them. Their house was just a block away from the bus stop, but he offered to come puck him up. Sam declined, saying he would have walk. Her mother gave him a picture of the house, where she wrote the exact address. So when Sam reached it he knew he couldn't be wrong.

He took a deep breath and knock on the door. Everything was silent for a moment. Just when Sam was trying to peep beyond the curtains, he heard someone messing with the latch of the door.  
He stood back in place as the door opened. The one that opened the door must have been Dean.  
The boy was standing there in what looked like an old and worn out tank and black sweatpants.  
Sam looked him in the face to find a pair of emerald eyes looking back at him with a shrewd look.  
There was a crooked smile on his face when he spoke.

-You must be Sammy- he said.

Sam stared at him, contemplating the fact that his stepbrother, who he has never seen before, just called him "Sammy".

-Uhm ye..yeah, I'm Sammy, SAM. I mean- he stuttered.

There was absolute silence while the both of them kept staring at each other.

-Dean let the poor boy come in!- a low voice came from behind Sam's brother.

-Come on in- Dean patted Sam's shoulder as he entered.

Sam sighed in relief after one of the more awkward moments of his life.  
At the table there was a dark haired man, bent over what seemed like a journal. After he had finished writing he lifted his had and stood up going towards him, extending his hand.

-Hey Sam- he said. They shook hands and the silent fell over once again.

Sam began to think that maybe this hasn't been a good idea.

-So-John begin rubbing his hands together –what do you guys want for dinner?-  
Sam looked at Dean, hoping for an answer. He was sprawled on the couch, hands behind his head.

-It's the same for me Mr. Winchester , thanks- Sam murmured eventually.

-You can call me John, boy- the man reassured him smiling warmly.

-I want some burgers dad!- Dean's voice came from the couch where he was now playing with a strange knife. Sam eyes widened a bit, when the journal that was once on the table hit Dean right in the chest.

-Hey! What was that for?- he asked surprised.

-Why don't you put that thing down and go pick up the burgers for everyone, then?- John looked at the knife and then gave a light but eloquent nod in Sam's direction.

Dean looked at the kid and sighed –Fine!- He stood up, put on a leather jacket and headed for the door.

-Come on little Sammy, it's burger night!- he said while opening the door not even caring to look behind.

Sam, that until that moment was frozen in the hall, with his hands in his pocket, awoke.  
Dean headed towards a black car parked along the street and Sam followed him.  
Once they were in, Sam put on his seatbelt and Dean laughed.

-You don't lose time! Security first!-he mocked in a parental voice.

Sam found it weird even though he couldn't help but smile.  
Dean rummaged in a small box alongside his sit and pulled a cassette out of it, putting it in the stereo.  
As he started the car "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC flowed out of the speakers.

- Whoa! I love this song!- Sam burst out in excitement.

He turned to Dean only to find him staring back with eyes wide open and a pleased smile on his face.  
Sam shyly smiled back and started shaking his head at the rhythm of the song.

-Well, so me and Baby are very pleased to have you on board- said Dean patting Sam's thigh.

Sam froze for a moment before asking –Baby? Who's Baby?-

Dean laughed, eyes on the street. -You're sitting on her- He answered while caressing the steering wheel.  
Sam understood he was talking about the car.

–You call it.. her, baby?- he asked amused.

-Yeah! She's my baby, don't talk shit about her!- Dean warned him.

-No, I actually really like this Impala model.. 1970?- he asked looking around in the cabin.

-'67- Dean corrected him.

They picked up two burgers for each of them, some coke and headed back. The drive was silent, but it wasn't that kind of silence you don't want to be in. It was a very relaxed one.  
They sat at the round table that was placed in the living room, right between the couch and the television.  
Sam was no longer nervous, instead he was enjoying the meal and the few talk.  
He didn't know if he had imagined this dinner any different, or if he did imagined it at all. He just knew he was content with it.

-So Sam – John said while chewing the last bite of his burger – your mother told me that you want to go to a law school once you're done with high school-

-Yeah, that's the plan- he answered

-A law school? Really?- Dean questioned

His father turned his head giving him a reproachful look.

-Hey!- he said raising his hands –I'm just asking! I don't find law so interesting!-

-Come on it is interesting!- Sam begin. His step brother pointed his eyes directly into his, and Sam had his breath short for a little moment –There are a lot of things to learn and you get to know how some things that we commonly hear about in real life, really works and..-

During all his explanation, Dean's eyes were pinned to his, and Sam had a hard time keeping control of his words. The gaze of this boy was so magnetic for some reason that he could have stared into those emerald for ages and feel..at peace. It was hard to explain, he hasn't find a way to clear up his own mind, but he actually felt secure while looking at Dean.  
The night went on with some chat and a couple of beer, that John sneaked to Sam, making him promise not to tell Mary.

-Oh damn!- Sam snapped all of a sudden.

-What's going on?- Dean asked. Sam was already standing, picking up his backpack.

–I'm kind of late for the bus! It will be here in like 2 minutes, I'm going to miss it for sure- He said running a hand through his hair nervously.

-I'm giving you a lift- Dean took the last sip from the can and placed his arm around Sam's shoulder making him blush –Come on- he murmured with a smile.

-I'm sorry Mr. Winches.. John! I'm really sorry I have to go in a rush, I had a good time tonight and..-

-Hurry Sammy, or you're leaving Lawrence afoot!- Dean's voice coming out of the door cut him off.  
Here we go with the "Sammy. Again. He gave a last clumsy nod at John and headed outside.

-Thank you so much for the lift.. I'm so heedless sometimes!-

-Never mind.. What do they say? Time fly when you have fun, right?- Dean gave him that smirk that made Sam's stomach clench. It should have felt kind of uneasy, all of this intimacy with this boy, but yet he couldn't feel more loose.  
Dean pulled the car on the sideway just as they saw the bus coming from down the street.

-Thanks again Dean, I had a really good time-

-I bet – said the other ironically –Take care of yourself right?- his eyes still and staid all of a sudden, glued to his brother ones.

–Yeah.. You too-

Dean gave Sam an unexpected pinch on the cheek and smiled as he got out of the car.  
Sam watched the impala drive away in the night, and kept his hand on his face, just where Dean nipped him.

So this was his brother, a part of his family he had never known. They shared blood.  
And Sam could feel that his mind was craving to know more about that boy.  
To know what was behind those green eyes that felt like home.


	2. Chapter 2

That Sunday morning the breakfast was silent. Sam was chewing on his pancakes with a gloomy expression on his face, while his parents kept looking at each other, as if trying to find the will to bring back the subject. Mary took a sip from her coffee and gently put the cup down on the table.

-Sam- she said softly, but her son cut her off.

-No mom- he snapped swallowing a bite –I'm good with the conversation we had yesterday. So, if the topic is not changing, I would honestly do without it, please- He glued his eyes to hers and Mary covered her face with both hands.

-Sam, you know we haven't talked about it at all. You just shut your door yesterday, saying the same thing you're saying now!-

-Sam your mother's right and you know that.. We need to talk about this.- her father intervened.

He sighed, putting the last pancake back on the plate. -Whatever, just talk.- he slipped forward on his chair, arms crossed. -I've already said what I had to, go on- he insisted.

-Sam, we don't want you to think that we're against what you want to do, we just don't want you to rush things. You've met Dean for the first time, just on Friday. We're just asking you to take a little time to sort things out, before rushing into making these meetings an ordinary thing.-

Sam lifted his head to look at his parent's face, to find pleading, yet severe eyes staring at him. Damn. What was so wrong in wanting to meet your step brother? Didn't they realize they already lost so much time? -Whatever you say- Sam's rose his hands in yield and stood up, heading towards his bedroom.  
He didn't care what his parents said. He wanted to see Dean again, to spend time with him! There was nothing wrong about it, right? He was his brother, and Sam felt as if it was more of a home he have ever had. He loved his parents, but they were never at home, and growing up as the only child, felt pretty lone; not to speak of the fact that Sam never had many friends.  
He took his backpack out of the wardrobe and put his wallet and a jacket in it, along with a couple of books. He was determined to see Dean again, and so he would have done. While climbing he heard his parents' voices move from the kitchen to the living room. Again on that frigging couch. He thought that just sneaking out wouldn't have been a good idea, so he was ready to throw some excuses around to leave the house. He didn't even know if Dean was home. Or actually if he wanted to see Sam as much as he did. He walked down the hall and found the living room's door closed. That was very weird. That door was never shut. Not even when random people came inside the house. Making little, soft footsteps he reached it and placed his ear as close as possible, just to catch the end of the conversation.  
-..what to do with him- he heard her mother whisper. Her tone was exasperated. –I knew this day would come but.. I honestly don't know how to tell him about it, how to explain why I worry so much-.

-You'll find the right way Mary.. In the meantime let's just hope he understood what we were trying to say to him- his father added.

Sam sniggered and accidentally bumped his hand on the door handle. He gritted his teeth, repressing a curse. His parents were silent so he decided to open the door with nonchalance, making it seems like he just arrived.

-Hey guys- he singed as he pushed the door open. They looked quiet calm so he just kept going –I'm going down to the park, I need to, uhm.. Clear my mind- he came up with the first thing he had in mind.

-Okay dear.. what's in the backpack?- Mary questioned.

Damn. -Uhm.. Just my school books. You know, I might find the time to study something- he faltered.

She scratched her face absently while saying –Okay.. See you tonight- giving him a slight smile.

Sam nodded and waved, heading out of the door.  
The bus arrived with a little delay. Sam hopped on it, taking the same sit as the last time.  
Why was he doing this? He had never done something like that, he never lied to his parents, and never sneaked out of the house with an excuse. He could've wait, he was repeating himself. But the truth was his gut was telling him otherwise. He felt the actual need to go back there.  
To see Dean. He shook his head trying to switch off his brain and relax.

When He arrived in Lawrence, he honestly didn't know what to do. It was earlier than the last time, but the air was kind of cold for a mid September evening. He didn't even know if Dean was home and he hadn't asked for his number. He stood there waddling on his feet for a while and then decided to walk to the house. He had been away for almost 3 hours now so, sooner or later, he was going to receive a call from his mother. One problem at a time. When he reached the alleyway, he didn't see the Impala parked anywhere nearby. He decided to try an knock anyway, but no one opened.

-Awesome- He'd done that useless trip just to get scold from his mother later. Whatever. That wasn't what was pissing him off. He thought he looked like a fool. And that probably Dean didn't give a shit about him and didn't have much interest in seeing him. He was pissed, taking his frustration out on a rock, kicking it on the sideway. All of a sudden he heard a car pull over, just a few meters ahead of him, but he didn't lift his gaze until he heard a voice.

-Hey!- Dean was out of the car with the door open and his hand in the air in a questioning way but you could also see a smile forming on his lips. The same that bloomed on Sam face as he recognized him.

-Oh.. hey!- Sam hopped to the other side of the car to face Dean.

-What are you doing here, kid?- Dean asked. He wasn't angry or anything. Just surprised.  
Sam was lost for a moment, just basking himself in that feeling of peace Dean's sight gave him.

-Uhm guess I was..visiting.. I mean, I was coming to your.. house- Sam was stumbling in his own words. Dean never taking his eyes off his face. The traffic was the only noise, along with Sam pounding heart.

-Pile in- Dean said, getting back in the car. Sam sighed and opened the door. Dean didn't seem displeased when he saw him, but neither he looked happy. Sam looked at his hands for the first 5 minutes of the ride, then found the courage to talk.

-Where are we going?- he asked shyly to Dean. Dean kept his eyes on the street and licked his lips before answering.

-Bonner Spring- he answered bluntly. Sam nodded to himself and went back to his hands.  
After a while Dean pulled over. Sam lift his head and noticed they were at some motel.  
The road was very dark and there was some weird reek coming from the asphalt.  
Dean parked the car and after pulling the keys out he remained still and silent. Sam was really beginning to regret his decision and was about to make his apologies when Dean leaned on the door of the car, facing Sam, his hands in his lap, and asked:

- Does mom know you're here?- It was the first time that Dean called Mary as his mom too.  
Sam found it strange and pleasant at the same time. But then again he was just wondering why he would ask just about his mother. Then the words he heard today hit him. Mary saying she wanted to tell him about IT. What was that IT? Sam looked at Dean to see his face contract into a frown. But it was as if he was worried too.

-No, mom.. Mom doesn't know about this. She didn't want me to come.. She didn't want me "to rush things"- he said, quoting Mary's words with his fingers. Dean laughed at the gesture mocking it and unwinding in a more relaxed position.

-You're such a nerd!- he added, giving Sam's shoulder a soft punch.  
Sam couldn't help but smile looking at someone who seemed to actually like him.

-Come with me- said Dean getting off of the car and heading to a poorly painted door.  
He knocked twice, and John opened the door turning immediately, looking away to his journal.

Before either of them could say anything he exploded -IT'S A VETALA, SILVER KNIFE TO THE HEART!- and turned with an amused expression to find both Dean and Sam wide eyed looking at him.

-What the..! Sam.. Dean! What's going on? I mean.. what?- he went pale and looked at Dean like he just watched him kill someone. The silence was broken by Sam's ringtone. Shit. That must have been his mother. Shit, shit, shit.  
Sam took off his backpack as Dean and John had some sort of whispered fight full of cursing.

-Hey..- Said Sam with his eyes squeezed, waiting for a yell to come.

-You're not at the park. You're in Lawrence aren't you?- her voice was resigned instead.  
That caught Sam off guard so he tried to speak but she cut him off again.

-Let me speak with Dean- she asked. -Yeah mom, but..-

-Now Sam.- she cut short.

Sam sighed and handed the phone to Dean. He took it and spoke

–Hey mom..Yeah I know that.. No.. How..How can you even think I'd put him in danger I…Yeah.. Okay don't worry..Yeah okay- Sam was listening closely to the conversation feeling more and more confused. A vetala? A silver knife? Danger? What the hell was going on?

John took the phone from his son and before answering he whistle at Dean and spoke.

-You know I have to go and I can't stay here. Do you think you can take care of the kid?- he asked.

-What do you think I am? Three?- Dean asked resentful. John shock his head and sighed, picking a bag along with his journal and slamming the door closed behind him.

-..Someone care to explain me what is actually happening?- Sam questioned, voice a little too loud. In fact Dean turned to him with a harder expression.

-Do YOU care to explain ME why you are here, in the first place?- he barked back. The tension between the two was growing so Sam just stood up and headed to the door, but Dean grabbed his arm tightly and make him turn.

-Where do you think you're going?- he asked harshly. Sam who was strong enough freed himself from his brother's grab and yelled –I don't know ! I'm going some place where I might feel welcome, you know!-.

Dean expression was genuinely shocked so Sam lowered his tone and added –Just never mind, you're not supposed to like me and wanting me as a brother, as I do with you- There were tears in his eyes. He actually felt so frustrated. His feet though won't let him walk.

The two brothers looked in each other's eyes for what seemed like a lifetime when finally Dean, with a bit of cracked voice spoke -I DO want you as a brother. I've always wanted you. I've been knowing about your existence since I was 8.-

-So why you never looked for me? If.. if you really wanted to meet me.. why didn't you ever..-

-Because I couldn't!- Dean yelled. His face was so hard, he looked like he was about to explode. Sam felt tears of rage running down his face and wiped them away with his coat's sleeve.

Dean was looking right into his eyes, like he was searching for the right answer. -I was asked not to- he finally said.

-From who?- Sam asked. His tone was now calmer and the tears had stopped. Dean put his hands on his hips looking at the ceiling, and then right back at his little brother.

-From my parents- he said sadly. Sam couldn't believe his hears. What in hell could have made John and Mary think this was the right thing to do. But before he could ask anything, Dean lift his hand as to stop him.

-All the question have been postponed to tomorrow. Mom said you can sleep here with us and dad..well John, is taking you back home tomorrow.. okay?- Sam looked at him, at his tired face and nodded.

-We both have to sleep in the same double bed, hope you don't mind- Said Dean while taking his pants off with his feet.

-No.. I don't mind- Sam took off his jacket along with his shoes and pants. It was all really awkward. He haven't had a contact so close with someone, since he was a child and snagged into his parent's bedroom. Dean dived into the matters making a sound of pleasure as he hit it with his tummy.

Sam tried so hard not to look at Dean but his gazed dropped to Dean's thighs blonde hair, up to his backside squeezed in a pair of tight (too tight) boxers. He felt the blood rush to his cheeks so he just rubbed his face and reached the other side of the bed, sleeping under the covers. Dean mirrored his actions and followed.

Under the covers they were just few centimeters from each others, Sam could feel the heat of his brother's body so close to his. Then Dean turned to on side facing Sam, that looked at him for just a moment.

His green eyes were staring at Sam's face when he spoke –We're going to make up for the lost time Sammy.. I promise.-

He smiled at him, reaching to touch his brother's foot with his own. This touch made Sam shiver but he didn't let his face betray him nor he didn't move away. He just turned to Dean then lifted his gaze and said

–Okay..-

Dean gave him a crocked smile and ruffled his hair before mumbling goodnight and turning off the light.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam didn't fall asleep until dawn. So later, when he awoke_, _he found it difficult to open his eyes.

A bright sun light was coming through the thin fabric of the curtains, right on the bed, so Sam buried his face in the pillow and stretched his legs, before turning slowly on his side.

Dean wasn't in the bed. Sam yawned one last time and sat up on the edge of the mattress.

While he was rubbing his face he heard some noises coming from the bathroom, so he assumed Dean must be in there. He knew that now was the moment to ask all the question that were going through his mind, but still he didn't feel like it. He just wanted to stay in bed. Maybe with Dean keeping him company, as weird as it may sound. When he heard the door of the bathroom open, he turned and spoke -Hey Dean..- but instead he found himself facing John.

-Good morning Sam- he greeted

-Oh! Uhm Good morning.. where's Dean?- he asked looking around.

John went straight to _the little_ table in the corner of the room and picked up some books and his journal and put them in a bag before answering.

-Dean went out like- he took a quick look at the clock –half an hour ago. He had to buy some things- John remarked while closing the zipper of the pack.

Then he turned to Sam and spoke again –Get ready, I'm driving you home-

-Thank you John but.. I don't want to get in your way, I can take the bus– he mumbled

-No problem boy. I'll wait for you outside.- he answered_, _heading for the door.

Once alone in the room Sam stood up to get dressed. Why did Dean had to leave? Was he trying to avoid him and his questions? Sam felt kind of pissed at him.

Once in the parking lot he found John waiting for him in a white van.

He hopped into the passenger seat, and stayed silent _all throughout the drive._

It _hadn't been a pleasant way to wake up_. He was still feeling weird about this whole situation.  
Dean said he cared for him and Sam wanted to trust his words, but his behavior just made Sam think it was all small talk.

Besides, if all that mattered were the questions, Sam could have just as easily asked John.  
So why did he feel so angry and betrayed by Dean? It's not like he made some commitment to spend every single day with Sam, talking about their life. However Sam couldn't help but feel disappointed.

-Here we are- John stated pulling in front of Sam's house.

-Thank you John- Said Sam while getting out of the van.

He closed the car door and turned –Say hi to Dean from me- he spluttered.

-Will do. Take care kid.- John answered.

Sam gave him a small nod and turned away.

The house was empty. His parents were probably at work.

Sam didn't feel like doing anything in particular so he let himself sink into the couch kicking away his shoes.

He turned on the tv and began fumbling with his backpack, searching for gum.

Instead he found a folded sheet of paper, on which was written:

"Sorry Sammy, I had to go. This is my number, in case you need anything. (555) 225-53326. Dean"

Sam smiled at the piece of paper and put it in his lap. He didn't really need Dean right now. But whatever.

He put it aside and took his phone

he started writing, erasing and re-writing a couple of times, before going for a simple

_-Hey Dean.-_

The answer came back almost immediately

_-Who's this?-_

_-It's me, Sammy. I found your note.-_

_-Oh, hey Sammy. Are you ok?-_

_-Yeah, I'm fine.-_

_-I know you're probably mad at me cause I didn't keep my promise. I'll make it up for it.-_

Sam smiled, looking down at his phone, stretching on the couch in a more comfortable position.

_-How?-_

_-You'll see. I will be out for a couple of weeks with my dad. Keep yourself free on the 2nd of October.-_

_-Why?-_

_-You'll see.-_

For Sam those were two endless weeks.

He woke up everyday with that thought and went to bed trying to shake it off his mind.  
He went to school every day and tried to concentrate on studying, but it was hard.

He felt so stupid. It was just a night out with his brother, why was he feeling so nervous?

There was no chance he could control himself when speaking about Dean, he noticed this.  
Even at home, while having dinner with his parents, the only thing he wanted to talk about was that.

During the week he texted Dean a couple of times, but never got a response.  
Until the early morning of October the 2nd.

Sam was in bed when he heard a buzz and turned to the nightstand to see the phone vibrating.

He wasn't properly awake, so he squeezed his eyes when the phone's light hit him. There was a text.

_-'Morning, little brother.-_

A sleepy smile formed on Sam's lips as he got back in a lying position

_-'Morning Dean. You got my texts?-_

_-Yeah, I got them but I couldn't answer, I'm sorry.-_

_-Okay, no problem.-_

_-I have to go now. I'll pick you up at 7:30 tonight. You better be ready when I get there. Syl-_

_-Okay, syl.-_

_He put the phon_e back on the nightstand and sighed, turning to his side to go back to sleep.

There was something wrong in the way he was craving that meeting. He had always felt lonely, he had no true friends, so that might have been the reason why he was so happy about this new-born relationship with his brother. Sam's brain kept telling him this, but his guts didn't agree.

7:30 came pretty fast. Sam didn't know what Dean's plans were nor did he know what to wear.  
In the end he put on a pair of jeans and a plaid brown shirt. He tried to tame his hair without much success and waited in the kitchen for Dean to show up while his parents were having dinner.

-So- Mary started talking, while she was chewing on a bite of her pizza – Where are you guys going?-

-I have no idea- Sam answered while peeking out of the window and biting his nails.

-Are you excited?- Mary asked noticing his nervousness.

-Uhm?- he mumbled looking at his mother. But she didn't get the chance to repeat herself.

A honk came from outside and Sam saw the Impala parked on the side of the road, headlights still on.

-I have to go!- He waved quickly in his parents direction and headed for the door repeating a series of "yes" to the question his mother was yelling from the kitchen.

He closed the door behind him, took a deep breath and walked towards the car.  
With each step he could feel his heart beat faster.  
And now he couldn't deny that there was something VERY weird about the way he was feeling.

-Jump in!- Dean opened the passenger door from the inside, tapping the seat with a big smile.

Sam gave him a smile back while hopping into the car.

-How are you doin' Sammy?- Dean asked_, _patting him on the thigh.

-I'-I'm good! I've been busy with school these past weeks so yeah..- he lied, trying to keep a straight face. –What about you, where have you been? You owe me an explanation, remember?- he asked.

Dean glanced quickly at his rearview mirror and pulled out into the road

-Yeah I remember, and I WILL give it to you but.. let's enjoy the night first, alright?- he smirked.

-Is this a way to delay the thing until I forget? 'cause I'm warning you, it won't work!- Sam insisted.

-I said I would tell you! Now shut up about it!- Dean ordered_, _giving Sam a punch on his shoulder.

-Ouch- Sam gave it back.

-Hey Hey!-Dean warned, pointing at him –I'm the driver. You know you can't disturb the driver, right Sammy? It's your duty, you should know that!-

-My ass! I have no duty towards you- Sam laughed trying to avoid the finger that Dean was trying to point to his chest.

-Now shut up!- Dean assert_ed in _a very serious tone, turning on the stereo.

"You shook me all night long" by AC/DC burst out of the speakers.

-Dude, at least you got good taste in music- Sam provoked.

Dean smile grew wider before he spoke –I'm glad you said so, 'cause I'm taking you at the Sphinx to see an AC/DC cover band- he said.

-To the.. The Sphinx are you serious? But, they won't let me enter, you have to be 21 to-

-Shhh- Dean hushed Sam with his finger raised. –I know the owner, and he owes me a favor – he winked.

Sam laughed and kept singing until they reached the bar.

As Dean said, it only took a word to the man outside and they were in, table already reserved.

The place was really dark and each table was separated from the other like they were in small gazebos.

They took their places and Sam sat in front of Dean.

-Woah This place is cool, man!- Sam remarked looking around.

-Yeah I know. I always come here when I have the night-off.. Oh hey the band is coming up on stage- Dean noticed.

Sam turned to his right, where he heard people yelling, and saw 5 boys coming up.  
All of a sudden the few lights of the place went out and the one under the dome of the gazebo started switching colors.

-Pretty rad, ah?- Dean smirked in Sam's direction.

-Yeah.. it's.. pretty rad- Sam burst out laughing.

-Now what?- Dean asked exasperated, a big smile plastered on his face.

-Dean.. Rad! Ahahah you sound like some cool guy from the 60s- Sam mocked him.

-Ahhh wish I was, little brother.. Those were cool years!- Dean sighed.

Sam couldn't stop smiling. He stared at Dean's face through the entire first song, watching the shadows and colors following one another on his brother's face, as the lamps switched.  
In that moment, he began to think he had a problem. While looking at the boy in front of him, that boy who was his step brother, the only thing he could feel was some sort of desire, of needing.  
He just wanted to sit next to him and hug him, snuggle with him.. maybe kiss him.  
Okay, he had a problem.  
Since he was younger Sam has always noticed how he didn't really care for girls, but found some interest in boys. But what a fucking mockery was this? Falling in love with his brother? God.

-Hey!- Dean fingers snapped in front of his face.

He was taken aback so he just stared with a blank expression.

-Where were you Sammy?- Dean smiled – I asked you if you want something to drink!-

-Yeah, like what? A juice?-

-Or maybe a beer!- Dean added in a vague tone.

Sam smiled –Thank you-.

It was a fun night, he talked a lot with Dean, the band was good, and Sam was happy he could enjoy a beer.

But he couldn't shake the feelings that had gotten a hold of him a couple of hours earlier.

Just as the band was announcing their last song, Dean's cell phone rang.  
He took it out of his pocket and excused himself, heading for the door.

A couple of minutes later he was back, a big frown on his face.

-Sammy- he lowered himself to speak in Sam's ear. That gesture made him shiver.

-I have to go, it was my father.. we have.. we have work to do- He yelled over the music.

Sam took a look at the watch. –Work to do at 1 am?- he asked puzzled.

Dean let out a small laugh –Yeah, you still don't know what it is, so don't judge!- he joked.

-I want to come with you- He snapped without even thinking.

-No Sam, no way.-

-Come on! You're not telling me anything and I can't even come?- he yelled.

-Sam trust me, it's better if we drop you off at home, I mean..-

-No Dean, I want to come- he insisted.

Dean's green eyes were now glued with his brother's, a severe expression on his face.

-Follow me.- He left the money on the table and they both went outside.

Sam's hearing still felt numb from the loud music, so they were probably both yelling.

-You stop it here Sam- Dean placed a hand on his chest –Trust me when I tell you something is for your own good.- His looked worried, yet firm.

Sam's hearing started working again. He was so pissed. So pissed at everything. Pissed at Dean keeping him out of his life. Once again. Without even realizing it, he pushed Dean, both hands on his chest.

Dean was taken by surprise and pushed him back.

-What the fuck man? What was that for?- he yelled

-You're trying to keep me out of your life Dean! Why did you ever agree to meet me? – Sam was on the verge of tears once again and he hated it, so he just turned and walked away.

Dean was behind him in a moment and grabbed him by the arm.

-Sam stop, what..-.

But he couldn't finish his sentence. Sam pushed him against the wall of the adjacent alley, holding him by the collar of the jacket.

They looked in each other's eyes for what seemed like forever. Sam's were full of tears and Dean's full of frustration. Then all of a sudden Sam decided he didn't care anymore.

He slowly let go of the jacket, moving both his hands on Deans face and kissed him, full on the lips.

A low grunt came from Dean's throat as he captured Sam's wrists with his hands trying to move them.

Instead_, _after a moment_, _he sighed grabbing Sam's arms and kissed him back. The alley was completely empty and the only noise were their breaths and grunts. It was a long and passionate kiss and Sam was completely lost until he heard a honk. Dean immediately pushed him back with a worried face.

-I'm..I'I'm sorry Dean.. I am..- Sam tried to say, his mouth dry.

-It's.. nothing.. It's.. now shut up!- Dean added in bossy tone –You can come with us. –he added looking straight in his brother's eyes –but we're going to lock you in the car. And for no reason, no matter what you hear or see, for NO REASON, are you to come out of said car. Are we clear?- His tone was almost angry.

Sam was so confused and ashamed of what he'd done, he just noddedand looked at his feet.

-Now follow me. That honk was John- He turned his back to Sam, leaving him lost between the feeling of guilt and need.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam waited outside the van, while Dean was inside, talking to John.  
It was difficult to breath and stand still, because he couldn't believe what just happened.  
He just kissed his brother. It wasn't like the stupid crushes he had on a couple of guys in high school, this was his FUCKING brother.

He took a quick look at the van and saw Dean's hands moving, probably trying to calm John.  
This was getting ridiculous. He should have just run home, but now it was too late.

-Hey- a voice came from the window. Sam lift his head to see Dean gesturing at him to get inside.

He took a deep breath and moved. Once he had closed the car door he greeted John .

-Hello Mr. Winchester- he said in a low tone. He knew the man was probably mad at Dean, plus he felt just like he had seen them in that alley, just few moments before.

-Hey Sam- John greeted back, not giving him much attention.

Since Dean was in the passenger seat, Sam had all the back seats at his disposal, but decided to sit in the left corner, right behind John.  
During the ride he mostly looked out of the window, trying to get a clue of where they were going.  
But from time to time, he dared to look at Dean. His brother was just staring blankly ahead, a severe expression on his face.  
But Sam couldn't help but focus on other things.  
The random streetlights hitting his face made his green eyes glow, his long curled lashes seem so blonde.  
He stared at the freckles on his nose and cheek, at his plump and slightly chapped lips.  
Immediately he had to stare down again, a warm feeling taking hold of his body.

His mind couldn't seem to rest, so he didn't noticed they were parking. He looked outside and guessed they were in some industrial area, just out of town.  
John turned off the car and got out without hesitation, moving towards the trunk. Sam looked behind him and then looked back at Dean, who suddenly spoke.

-Do you remember what I told you?- he asked, not bothering to turn to him.

-Yeah..- Sam answered –But Dean..-

-No.- He said lifting his hand. –No "buts" Sam.. just stay here.- Said that, he got out of the car and along with John and a big bag, walked towards a shed, leaving Sam alone in the van.

He watched them disappear right behind the corner of the building, then everything got silent.  
Sam let himself sink in the seat rubbing his face with his hands. He had put himself in some deep shit, for sure, and he wasn't half ready to face it. Plus, all this mystery around Dean's work was even more nerve-racking.  
The ring of his phone snapped him back to reality.

-Yeah?- he picked up.  
-How's the night going hon? Are you coming home anytime soon?- said Mary on the other end.  
_Oh damn it.. –_Oh yeah mom, yeah.. it's going great!- he lied.  
-Where are you boys?- she asked.

Sam almost answered they were at the sphinx, but ha to come up with a lie.. for his lie.

-We're at a pub just out of town.. I didn't know this place, but it's pretty cool- He said vaguely looking at the desolation of the place outside the car.

-Oh. Okay- Mary said –Can I speak with Dean?- she asked.  
_God Mom, why do you always need to speak with him?  
_  
-Eh.., actually I am outside because.. I met some guys from school.- he came up with an excuse, shaking his head.

-Oh I see.. Okay, stay safe you both, I'll see you later- she added.

-Yeah, yeah mom.. bye- he hang up with a sigh.

He was ready to go back to his sweet nothing, when he heard a woman's scream that made him jump from his seat.  
-What the..- he whispered to himself trying to look out of the window .  
After a brief moment, he heard the echo of another cry coming from the building.

-DEAN!- Sam exclaimed, recognizing his brother's voice. He instinctively tried to open the car door, forgetting he was locked inside. –Fuck!- he cursed through gritted teeth.

Another cry, way more loud than the first, came from outside.

-Oh, for fuck's sake!- Sam looked around thinking of a way to get out of the car, when it hit it.

Right behind his head there was a long window right to the truck. Awesome.  
Sam pushed it open and squeezed himself to get through it, and eventually he did, landing on the hard metal with a loud thump.

-Ouch- he cursed as he immediately stood up and jumped off the van.  
He ran at top speed towards the shed where scream came from. He was freaking out, but Dean's scream was echoing in his mind, and he had to help him if he was in trouble.  
He found the door open and sneaked in, trying hard to stay as silent as possible.  
There was a corridor, and at the end he could see a light coming from some room.  
Sam started walking in soft steps, his breath heavy. A woman's voice was coming from the room, and the closer he got, the less he couldn't believe his ears.

-Now Winchester – She said, her voice almost a hiss –Do you want me to sink my teeth in your beautiful son's neck?-  
Sam shuddered as the woman spoke again –Leave Lena alone, and maybe.. I'll give back your son-

Dean screamed again ad Sam heart jumped in his throat as he moved closer enough to peek through the small opening.  
He could see John. He was firmly holding a woman and was pointing a big knife at her chest.  
But it was something else that made Sam almost faint. Just in front of him, a couple of meters away stood another.. woman. He would have called her a woman if it wasn't for her bright yellow eyes and the long sharp teeth coming out of her mouth. In front of her there was Dean on his knees, blood pouring down his arm, dripping on the floor. At that point Sam couldn't control himself anymore and just opened the door screaming his brother's name.  
He heard Dean call his name at the top of lungs, he heard a scream, felt a strong pressure on his chest and then everything went black.

Sam opened his eyes slowly. He saw the seats of the van, John driving, the streetlight outside the window.  
He tried to move but he felt a sharp pain to the side of his head that forced him to stand still.

- Sammy..- Dean's voice came from above his head.

At that point Sam realized his head was resting on Dean's thigh. He turned his head slowly to find his brother's face looking down on him.

-Hey- he said back, voice coming out rusty.

-How are you feeling?- Dean asked moving Sam's hair from his forehead.

-My head. It hurts a whole fucking lot- he moaned, eyes squeezed in pain.

-Yeah I know that- Dean answered softly while continuing to caress Sam's hair lightly. –It would've been weird if it didn't. You hit a concrete wall.-

Suddenly Sam remembered.

-Hey!- he turned, lying on his back –Are you okay? How's your arm? – Sam reached for it to check the injury. Dean's sleeve was rolled up and his forearm had a bandage soaked in blood.

-Yeah, I'll live, don't worry.- Dean said shrugging. –And for the record, I'm not beating the shit out of you, just because someone already did it for me!- he added.

Sam was searching for a trace of real twit on his brother's face, but he couldn't see anything except relief.  
He smiled turning to his side and closing his eyes to relax. 

John didn't speak for the whole ride as he was probably pissed at Sam, and worried for what Mary could say to him. As well as Sam was.  
When they arrived he couldn't say he was feeling better, but at least the pain wasn't making him dizzy anymore. Dean helped him out of the car holding him up as well as he could.

-Uhm guys.. –John called, drawing their attention -I'm going inside I need to shower.. Are you coming?- he asked mainly to Dean.

-Yeah, just give us a moment – he answered for them both. – I need to get something to drink.- He said gesturing toward the vending machine placed at the side of the motel.

Sam followed him, still squeezing his eyes from time to time, trying to chase away the throb in his temple.  
He leaned against the wall, right beside the machine, while dean was fumbling in his pockets to find some loose change. He watched the road traffic in the distance sighing.

-What a night.. – he muttered –I should go out with you more often -

Dean gave him a mordacious look before speaking –Yeah why not, so maybe you can try to get killed by some fucking monster..!-

-..Was.. was that a monster?- Sam asked carefully.

Dean kept looking him in the eyes without answering, so he continued –Yeah I mean.. I knew something was off with it.. I saw her frigging teeth – He shivered at the memory.

-It was a Vetala – Dean said, putting the money in the machine and selecting a beer.

-A Vetala.. of course.. So this is what you do.. you hunt.. monsters. Which apparently are real..- Sam was having some kind of monologue with himself that really amused Dean.

-Yeah, this is what I do – He said picking up the can. He opened it and took a long sip and offered it to Sam who declined –Nah, my head is still spinning a bit, I don't think I need that..-.

-You should have listened to me, you should've just stayed in the car- Dean said.

-Yeah whatever.. I heard you scream, I didn't know what was going on and I was.. worried, okay?- Sam spat out.

In the blink of an eye dean was in his face –I. Don't. Care. – he whispered clearly. –Do you think I want to see you dead, uh?- his face was somehow twisted in a grimace of rage and pain.

Sam looked in his older brother's eyes, that closeness remembering him of the kiss they shared a couple of hours earlier. And before he could answer, apparently Dean remembered about it too.  
He closed the distance between them kissing Sam firmly on the lips. He threw the can of beer and grabbed Sam's hair tight keeping him close while deepening the kiss, licking his little brother lips, claiming to get inside his mouth.  
The kiss was a battle for dominance, full of rage and lust. They kept pulling each other moaning and panting. Dean finally got the better of Sam and pushed him roughly against the wall reaching for his pant's button. Sam head was spinning a lot more than before but he couldn't care less.  
Dean kissed down Sam's neck while with the other hand he finally unfasten his brother's jeans.  
Sam was trying to suffocate the loud moans escaping his mouth, keeping both of his hands on Dean's shoulders while his brother started caressing his lower abdomen finding his ways into his pants.  
Dean was panting fast against Sam's bare neck and ear as he reached and grabbed his brother's cock.  
Sam bent his head backward letting out a hiss of pleasure as his older brother began stroking his shaft slowly, taking his time around the head, squeezing lightly. He was desperate for Dean's lips, their breaths blended right on each other's mouth as he leant in for a long passionate kiss. As the kiss deepened Dean's hand began moving faster and Sam's couldn't help but rock his hips right into his brother hand.  
Dean pushed his bulge right on Sam's thigh rubbing it along with his little brother movements.  
Sam head began to feel totally blurred and he felt the tension built up in is stomach and a few moments later he was coming in his brother hand, grunting with his face buried in Dean's shoulder who was biting him on the neck, not leaving his hold on Sam's cock.  
The two of them stayed there, leaned against that hard wall for a few moments, Dean's hand still in Sam's pants, holding each other tight, trying to recover their breaths. All of a sudden Dean pulled back moving his hands to hold Sam's jacket and spoke, hot breath in Sam's ear, his voice still rusty.

-Don't ever make me worry like that, again.- 


	5. Chapter 5

It was raining outside, big drops were hitting the classroom windows. The teacher was talking about some laws made by the government in some year, due to some issues but Sam couldn't seem to focus.

He was daydreaming about the last time he had seen Dean. He couldn't help but quiver at the memory of his brother touching him and kissing him. And how that night they shared the small bed of the motel room, not a word spoken, just Dean's body pressed to his back, hand in hand folded on Sam's stomach.

The morning after Dean acted like nothing had happened and he just drove Sam home, telling him he had to spend the whole month away with his father on a hunt, and that they would be in touch.  
Which never happened. Sam tried to send him some texts, he even called him a couple of times, but Dean never answered. He knew Dean was fine just because his mother would check on him, calling John once in a while.

Sam wanted to be angry at him, but all he could think about were the kisses Dean gently placed on his shoulders as he was drifting off to sleep that night. And that he just wanted to see him again.

It was the 30th of October and all his classmates were making plans for the night after.  
Sam wished he could still enjoy Halloween as he did before, when he didn't know that monsters and ghosts were real, but doing it as your brother was on a hunt probably chopping of some vampire's head or something, was some kind of a challenge.

-Hey Sam!- he heard someone calling him as he was walking down the hallway.

He turned to see one of the boys that was in his civics class, walking quickly towards him.

-Hey Ben.. What's up?- Sam asked

-Uh, I was wondering what you're doing tomorrow night- the boy asked once he was at Sam's side.

-Not much, really..- Sam said. –Why is that?- he asked.

-I'm throwing a party at my house. Nothing big, just ten people. Dinner, horror movies marathon, and a sleepover - he said excited.

Sam thought about politely refusing the offer and spending the night home alone, but at the last moment he changed his mind.

-Yeah sure, why not?- He answered. After all he didn't have people he could call friends in school, so why not try to make some?.

-Oh okay, cool!- Ben said with a smile –Be at my place at 8pm then, here –he said fumbling in his pocket and handing a piece of paper to Sam –This is my address-.

-Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then!-

-See you!- Ben waved and they both went their separate ways.

The next morning there was no school, so Sam figured he could spend the whole morning sleeping.  
But his plan was hampered by his phone beeping loudly around 10:30 am.  
He grunted and reached out his hand from under the blanket, blindly searching for the phone.

There was a text informing him that someone left him a message on his voicemail.  
He scratched his head, a puzzled expression on his face. No one's ever left him any message at all.

More out of curiosity than anything else, he decided to check it out.

When a low and rusty voice spoke up, all his drowsiness faded away, leaving him with a lump in his throat.

«Hey Sammy, it's me, Dean. Look, uh.. I don't know if you tried to reach me this past month» Sam scoffed lightly at the words «but I lost my damn phone almost immediately and I.. I didn't want to use John's you know.. Well okay uh. . I wanted to tell you that I'm coming back in town on the 31st» Sam's heart skipped a beat, leaving him breathless «and, I don't know, if you want to catch up that night or something.. we could go hunting real monsters, or kids dressed as monsters, if you prefer» Sam smiled, lying back on the mattress «Well.. okay, that's it! Let me know.. Bye».

Sam hung up, putting his phone on his side and staring blankly at the ceiling.  
After half an hour of torturing his lips with his teeth, he decided to call Dean back.  
He would tell him that he already had something to do that night.

«Sammy!» cheered the voice on the other end.

"Hey Dean.." Sam spoke, the words getting caught in his throat "uh.. I just heard the message you left me. I wanted to tell you that.." it was harder then he thought "uh..tonight I'm with my schoolmates, one of them is throwing a party.." he eventually finished his sentence.

«Oh..» Dean voice lowered.

"But if you want we can go out for a coffee or something before I go there!" Sam sighed. He had failed miserably at keeping a straight face.

«Uh yeah sure! Why not? I'm coming to Holton, we should meet at Berry's at 7, okay?»

"Okay" Sam smiled "See you later then".

«See you later Sammy».

"Bye".

Sam was already outside Berry's at 6:45 pm. He was bouncing on his feet and blowing air on his hands, trying to keep himself warm. He couldn't help but watch both sides of the street while waiting for his brother to show up. After 10 minutes he spotted him, coming up from the parking lot across the street.

He was bouncing happily, a crooked smile on his face, his hands in the pocket of his black padded jacket.

"Hey stranger!" Dean lifted his hand as if to put it on Sam shoulder but then pulled him close in a hug instead.  
Sam stared blankly ahead, patting Dean's back lightly. Dean pulled away and looked at Sam.

"How are you boy?" he asked smiling.

Sam couldn't tell how long it took him to answer, because he thought he had lost himself between his brother's eyes and freckles.

"Uh..I'm good, good.. thanks! How about you?" he eventually blurted out. "What happened to you?" he then asked noticing a cut on Dean's jaw. He wanted to brush it with his fingertips, but he refrained.

"Oh this?" Dean asked caressing his face "Nothing serious, I just happened to hit a floor, where there happened to be shattered glass.." he smiled.

But when he saw Sam was not at all amused he recomposed himself and said "Don't worry, for me that's routine".

"Well yeah,.. for you. I still have to adjust to this. Plus, I honestly can't help but worry." He eyes couldn't move from the scar, so Dean put his hand under Sam's chin to lift his face and look him in the eyes.

"Seriously Sammy, this is nothing bad" he said.

They kept looking in each other's eyes, both silent.

"Well!", Dean broke the silence, moving his hand away "What do you say we go take our coffee? It's fucking freezing here." He headed for the door and Sam followed.

Once they got their beverages the sat at a table and talked the whole time they got on their hands without losing a single minute. Even though Sam couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't brining up what happened the last time the saw each other. But eventually Sam had to tell Dean that he had to go.

"Oh okay, you need a lift?" Dean asked while paying.

"Yeah why not, thanks.." Sam accepted.

—

They got in the car and closed the doors behind them.

"So, where to?" Dean asked .

Sam searched in the pocket of his jacket and handed his brother the piece of paper with the address.

"Here" he answered.

Dean took it, read it, but didn't move. Sam looked at him and waited a couple of moments before calling him.

"Dean?" Sam moved a hand in front of his brother's face.

Dean lifted his head up slowly, like he knew he hadn't moved and wasn't answering.

Sam started to feel nervous and that feeling of need kicked in suddenly. Without even realizing it he let his hand move up to Dean's scar. He slowly touched it with his fingertips, moving forward and caressing his jaw with his palm. Dean leaned into the touch, his eyes still glued to his brother's.

"Do you really need to go?" he murmured.

Before Sam could answer, Dean took his brother's palm gently in his own.

Sam was trying to swallow down the lump in his throat but his answer came out rusty anyway.

"I don't.." he whispered back.

Dean gave him a soft smile and gently let go of his hand.

"What do you say we spend the night at Bobby's house? Him and John are out of town anyway" Dean said.

"Bobby? Who's Bobby?" Sam asked.

"Oh damn I forgot to tell you! You remember the house where we first had dinner?" Sam nodded "Well that's not our house. That's Bobby's house, he's like a uncle to me" Dean answered turning on the car.

"Oh I see..yeah, yeah why not" Sam said.

He was already freaking out, and the fact that they had to share an hour ride was not comforting.  
In the end the ride was silent and Sam actually felt at ease.

"Ahhhh, home sweet home!" Dean sighed collapsing on the couch.

Sam gave him a weird look, and Dean smiled back at him.

"I'm joking. But yeah this still feels pretty good" he admitted adjusting himself.

He turned on the tv and easily found a horror movie.

"Oh we got nightmare!" Dean exclaimed. "Do you like it?"

"I actually still need to see it" Sam admitted.

"Great so that's what we're doing tonight! Do you want something to eat or drink?" Dean asked getting up and going towards the small kitchen.

"Yeah, thanks" Sam said getting rid of his jacket.

They sat like that, next to each other for the whole movie, eating nachos and drinking beer.

Once in a while Dean would make comments on how "that looks nothing like real life" and Sam would tell him to shut up, because he wanted to see the movie.

As the closing titles were rolling Dean turned his whole body to Sam's.

"Did you like it?" he asked.

"Yeah it was pretty cool.. but not so scary" Sam said.

"You say that just because you've fought a vetala in real life! Oh no wait.. she actually kicked your ass" Dean mocked him squinting his eyes.

"Oh come on! Are you serious? You were pretty worried that time, and now you can joke about it?" Sam snapped still smiling.

"I can do whatever I want, whenever I say it!" Dean spit back.

"You bossy jerk" Sam hit him in the chest.

"Ouch, you bitch!" Dean responded pushing him.

In a matter of seconds they found each other sprawled on the couch, Dean on top of Sam, both holding each other's collar.

"I won" Dean murmured, his eyes wandering all over his brother's face. He gently lowered and gave Sam a peck on the lips. The brief touch and the sound of their lips detaching made Sam's insides squirm.

"What are we doing, Sammy?" Dean asked slowly leaning on Sam's body, keeping his eyes straight.

"I.. I don't know.." Sam whispered back almost out of breath. He caressed Dean's neck again, moving to the back of his head, running his fingers through his brother's short hair.

"I don't know what we're doing " Sam spoke again "But I.. I can't get you out of my head Dean" he added, feeling warmth on his cheeks. "And I don't know what to do about it".

Dean just smiled at his little brother's words and leaned down, pressing their foreheads together.

Their lips were close, warm breaths brushing each other's face.

Dean decided to close the distance between them and kissed Sam firmly on the lips. Low moans escaped both of their throats. The kiss deepened and Sam's hands began tracing Dean's back.

It was long and passionate, their bodies grinding, their tongues cherishing, as if they were afraid to let go.

Eventually Dean came up for air, and without thinking too much unbuttoned Sam's shirt and threw it on the floor. Sam heart was pounding so loud that he was sure Dean could hear it too. He was looking in awe as Dean's plump lips slightly parted, as he was admiring his body.

Dean got rid of his jumper and put it on the floor too. With a trembling breath he got down again, kissing Sam's chest, from his collarbone down to his ribs. He was so unsure of what he was doing, yet so needing.

Their growing erections were pressed together through their jeans, and neither of them could deny it.

They quickly switched positions so Sam could climb on top. Once he was sprawled across Dean, he leaned closer to his ear and asked "Do you mind taking off your jeans?" his voice almost a growl.

"Not at all.. as long as you get rid of yours too" murmured Dean, caressing Sam's bare skin.

Sam stood up to unbutton his pants and pushed them away with his feet.

He made Dean stand up too and kissed him gently holding his face, before moving his hands down to the zipper of his pants. Dean quivered at the soft touch and moaned into the kiss making Sam's heart beat speed up.

Once they were both in their underwear Dean took Sam by the hand and said "Let's move to the bedroom..".

He laid his little brother on the covers and climbed on top of him.

Sam was staring ravished at Dean's chest, at his thighs, at his stomach, he just couldn't take his eyes of that boy. And he suddenly knew.

While Dean was kissing his neck Sam stopped him gently "Dean.."

"What?" the other asked almost out of breath "Do you.. do you want me to stop?" All of a sudden he looked worried.

Sam's heart melted with joy at his brother's care, before he answered "No, on the contrary.." he answered, but then lowered his gaze in pause.

"What's going on Sammy?" Dean asked once again caressing his brother hair.

"Dean it's.. I actually want.. I need to feel you.. inside me" he began to tremble with arousal and misgiving mixed together at the astonished expression of Dean's face.

But no other word came out for another while. Dean just landed on Sam's body kissing him fiercely, moving his hands through his hair, hardly breathing at all. The feeling of their hips grinding and cocks touching just through a thin piece of fabric made them both groan desperately against each other's mouth.

"Sam, hey.. hey Sammy" Dean was trying to stop his brother's hand, between his own moans.

"What?" Sam asked, feeling frustrated.

"Have you.. have you ever done this before?"

Sam froze for a moment before answering.

"No I haven't.. but I don't care Dean, that's what I want now!" he soughed kissing his brother neck.

Dean pushed him down gently once again "Sammy believe me" he let out a chuckle "I DO want this too but.. are you sure? " he asked, lovingly moving Sam's hair away.

"Dean I am.. I know what this means and.. that's what I want" he said, his eyes glowing with lust.

Dean seemed puzzled for a little bit but then he spoke. "I'm sorry, but I won't ask you twice".

They both smiled and Dean went down to remove Sam's boxers.

His hard cock shoot up to his stomach, pre cum already coating the head.

Dean took a deep breath and got rid of his boxers too.

Sam was rolling his head back just trying to surrender to the pleasure, while Dean was on his knees, gently kissing his inner thighs.

"Oh Dean.." he clenched his fist into the covers as his brother slowly licked up to his shaft pausing on the tip and taking it gently between his lip and tongue.

"You're so beautiful Sammy.. " he whispered his hands roaming all over his little brother's stomach.

He grabbed a pillow while teasing Sam's hardness with the tip of his tongue.

"Here" he lifted Sam's hips and placed the pillow under his ass. "This should help" he smiled between Sam's thighs.

Sam blindly trusted Dean so, even if he was a little nervous, he just wouldn't wish to be anywhere else.

"Wait here" Dean said all of a sudden "I think we might have some lube in the bathroom."

He came back happily shaking the bottle in his hand. Sam couldn't help but chuckle.

He then kneeled back between Sam's legs. Sam's head was so foggy and he just couldn't wait anymore.  
He was looking down on Dean who had a concentrated expression on his face, as he put lube on his hand.

He then raised his head searching for a sort of permission from Sam who just nodded.

He felt Deans fingers slowly tracing circles around his entrance before slowly pushing his way in. Sam breathed and tried to adjust to the new feeling which caused him a mixture of uneasiness and excitement.

"Are you okay? Should I keep going?" Dean asked thoughtfully caressing his brother's thigh.

"Yeah don't worry" Sam smiled at him.

They kept going for a while. Dean was fingering Sam and kissing his legs, and Sam eventually touched his brother's face or just laid back trying to relax. Once the third finger had been inside for a while and Dean sensed Sam relaxing around his hand he asked.

"Do you feel ready Sam?" his voice low and rusty. Sam nodded biting his lip.

"Okay.. just stop me if.."

"Yeah you already told me" Sam cut him of contently.

Dean smiled once again, leaning down to give his brother a small peck on the lips.

He placed the tip of his cock between Sam's legs and slowly began to push his way in. Sam moaned at the filling sensation which still felt pretty strange.

"Oh God" Dean eyes rolled a bit once he was completely buried in Sam. He kept staring down at him, as if he couldn't believe what was happening.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Mhm" Sam reassured him.

Dean began moving very slowly, in and out, not able to gaze away from his agape brother.

The pace slowly became constant and Dean decided to lean down and kiss Sam, because he just couldn't get enough of his lips. They were breathing heavily, their bodies covered in sweat, both quivering from time to time.

"Do you like this?"Dean whispered in Sam's ear, sucking his lobe.

"I do.." Sam breathed out, completely overwhelmed by thousands of sensations.

While Dean kept thrusting he also reached down to grab Sam's cock with his hand and began stroking softly, glad he could use pre-cum as a help.

It was all so dedicated, that it couldn't have felt more intense.

Sam was feeling closer and he began nibbling his lips trough closer and closer moans.

"Ow Dean.. Oh God.." he stuttered.

"I'm here Sammy I got you" Dean said almost out of breath.

After few moments Sam was coming all over their stomach, clenching and quivering under Dean's body.  
This took the other boy just a few faster thrust to come inside his brother.

"Oh God Sam" he growled, grinding his teeth and closing his eyes, feeling his orgasm loose.

He then pulled out slowly, making Sam moan at the feel of emptiness and then collapsed beside him.

Once they regained their breath Dean outstretched his arm and called Sam "Come here.."

Sam snuggled close, with a content sigh.

Dean kissed his little brother head. "Despite everything, this feels so..right.. you know?" he asked staring at the ceiling, keeping Sam close to him.

"Yeah I know" Sam muttered against his skin "This is exactly where I should be. This is home".

_**Author's Note: **_So sorry this took me so long to update, but Christmas and family meetings really got in the way! Plus this is the first sex scene I ever wrote, so I had to dedicate some time to it in order to feel content! Oh, and__I want to thank my friend Nishka (whereifellfromgrace tumblr) for beta-reading this for me! You're awesome!


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